May 1st

May 1st: New airplane friend, old karate friend, climbing Arthur’s Seat

I woke up pretty late and was moving pretty slow on Monday morning. I just didn’t want to leave, and didn’t feel like getting out of bed after having such exciting days previously. I went and grabbed a banana at the lovely supermarket across the way, got my stuff, hopped on the bus to the airport, and realized midway through the bus ride that I was running very late. I needed to have already been at the airport before 10:30 am… but I didn’t panic or freak out at all, like I would have in the past! I just calmly thought, welp, I’ll get there when I get there. It was my fault for moving so slow, but there was nothing I could do about it. I recognized where I messed up and learned from it. This may seem like something minor but I really have always had a hard time with beating myself up over everything. I’ve noticed that now, I don’t apologize as much as I used to. I’m nowhere near the person I used to be. And I’m going to continue towards getting better.

Anyways, I arrived at the airport at the nick of time, got everything all set, and got to my gate. It all went pretty smoothly, and I’d like to credit that to my calmer demeanor and more “take things as they come” attitude.

I got on the plane, sat down, found out it was the wrong seat (second time I’ve done that this trip), and then sat in the row in front next to a lovely red headed Irish woman. She and I talked about everything from politics, to mental health, to the LGBTQIAP+ community, etc. She was straight but was an excellent ally. And she helped me more with figuring out what I should do with my life. She seems to be leaning towards me going into social work to be a therapist for the LGBTQIAP+, but the more time goes on, the less certain I am about that. I fluctuate from thinking, “Yeah! I’d be great at this!” to thinking, “I don’t know if I could do this…”

It was a really fantastic plane ride, albeit short. The lady was kind enough to wait for my bag at baggage claim with me. We talked more on the bus towards Waverly Station in Edinburgh, but she got off a few stops before me. I got off the bus and immediately saw my friend Cara’s boyfriend, Joe. Joe is a doll, complete sweetheart. I really was so grateful for all his help. He and I walked a bit and I took in some of the sights of Edinburgh but I was so hungry that we went to a place called “Burritos and Shakes!” They definitely will never be sued for false advertising, at least. Haha, I was so hungry, that everything tasted amazing/maybe it really was as good as I thought it was!

Joe and I talked quite a bit about the mental health field. He’s been in it and knows it very well. It really is so draining. I just don’t know if I really want to continue with it.

Anyways, we arrived back at his and Cara’s apartment and I still appreciate them for paying for my bus trip. I dropped off my stuff, and explored. I went down the Royal Mile and climbed up Arthur’s Seat… but I didn’t make it to the top. I don’t regret my decision though (because I’m living a life with no regrets now) but also because there were ambulances and I heard someone crying for help on the steep upward climb… I don’t think I would have been much help if there was a serious crisis situation since I only know CPR and basic First Aid, plus I get woozy at the sight of blood. So I just said, “Nope” and turned right around.

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What’s really funny is that the yellow flowered bushes are entirely made of thorns. Stick your hand in and it’ll get all ripped up. These bushes line the sides of Arthur’s Seat – if you fall off the side of the ridge, you’re gonna tumble through all those bushes. And if you lean on the side of the ridge, there are also more of those bushes. So the only advice I can give is stay down the middle of the path. Which is kind of like what I’m doing now. I’m trying to stay a lot more balanced, a lot more centered. I don’t want to tumble down through the thorns again. And I don’t want to push myself so hard that I need to lean on something (or someone) – only more thorns that way. Middle of the road is where I will try to stay.

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Some wise words from the Scots.

Anyways, during dinner, I ended up doing some drawing! I’m so thrilled. It means I’m really on the way to recovery when you see me drawing my favorite Avatar: The Last Airbender characters, haha.

Then, when I finally returned back to the apartment, I got to see Cara!!! I missed her so much. It was so great catching up. I watched her and her friend play Portal 2. It was just so great.

Alright, so that was Monday. I only have 5 more days to catch up on! Haha 🙂

Wishing you all the best, sending all my love, and thanks for reading!

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